Glenn “Sonnie” Wooden’s Psychoanalysis
Hometown: Chicago, Illinois
1 being never and 5 being always.
I am in touch with my inner feelings - 2/5
I am comfortable with myself - 2/5
I am aware of my fears, anxieties and unresolved conflicts - 1/5
*he knows they are there and he does not know what is unresolved most likely he knows they are there but refuses to acknowledge them
I express my feelings honestly and clearly - 0/5
*he never opens up because this is seen as a vulnerability
I am concise and expressive in my communications - 3/5
*he does communicate but his communications tend to be negative and only talks about what bugs him and makes him angry but he is concise when he does this, depends who he is talking to and what the circumstances are
I am open in sharing what I think and feel - 1/5
*he will not share unless he is forced too or he thinks it will benefit himself
I can focus intently on what others are saying and recall the essence of their communications - 3/5
*he does listen when he is interested in the conversation or cares about the person but being empathetic is another situation he does not tend to empathize with people because most of the time what is being shared with him he does not feel it is worth complaining about; when the conversation shifts into something he no longer has an interest in he will start to tune it out and lost concentration on the person is speaking with. This tends to happen when people start to complain. He hates when people complain; when the complaint is large he feels that he cannot give advice unless he can relate, when the complaint is what he considers not to be a serious problem he shuts down and does not listen because he does not care and does not want to help.
*He cannot empathize with people that are in a better situation than him*
I show attention and interest when listening - 5/5
*he listens better when he thinks he can help or fix something, he cannot just talk about random things.
I am able to resist internal and external distractions that may impede my concentration - 5/5
*he believes that he can dial in to what is important and that time and distract him from what is going on in his life, but this is all dependent on who he is speaking to and how much the person matters to him
I am perceived by others as safe to talk to - 5/5
*he believes that people find him approachable
I can demonstrate my understanding of what I hear - 5/5
*he can demonstrate this by recalling what they say and uses comparison to life and himself to help them feel better, he reassures them, and tells them its gonna be ok. His method of doing so usually involves using the tone of his voice to bring the person down to a more relaxed and calm place.
I reflect accurately other people’s underlying thoughts and feelings - 5/5
I have the ability to put people at ease 5/5
*depending on the persons mood he can mirror their mood to help them relax
I am able to get people to open up - 5/5
I am smooth and natural in facilitating the flow of conversation - 4/5
I am nonjudgmental and accepting of other people, even when they have different values and opinions than I do - 3/5
*he is not judgmental to a persons face but when he feels strongly about something he will state his opinion and it is known that he will allow different values and views to affect a relationship
I am caring and compassionate - 5/5
I can confront people without them feeling defensive - 3/5
I accept responsibility for my role in creating difficulties - 2/5
*he tends to blame most difficulties on his family and his past
I am able to work with explosive situations - 4/5
Strengths: His ability to disregard myself to help other people, communication skills, quick on his feet, well rounded in experiences, don't ask for anything (interesting***) giving
Weaknesses: doesn't think people care about him (has a lot of insecurities about how people view and cannot accept peoples help and affection) lack of family and finances, stray away from people who do have family and good finance, run away from uncomfortable situations(physically and mentally) depression, anxiety, constantly questioning his existence makes him doubt his success in life (flow weaknesses came out faster than strengths)
Improve: not really sure, wants to understand why he acts the way he does, want to know if he will continue where is heading currently or will things change
Goals: no emotional goals, to make it on his own not have to ask for anything, man made, find someone who understand me in a romantic relationship, be a good father ( wants to be seen as a role model, overcoming struggle, unconditional love) to live comfortably and understand his depression
Fear: the biggest threat is himself, he will only stand in his way with his depression, he can knock everything else down but depression can and will stop him
Q: How do you feel about meeting new people and starting new relationships?
A: doesn’t trust anyone, very easy to meet new people and strike up conversation, but know that they will only be their temporarily, if he feels that there is a future with the person he will put his guard up so that they will dig more, when someone shows interest in knowing more is how he will decide if wants to keep them around but if they dig too much they will be shoved out by defense mechanisms to protect himself.
*recurring theme for Glenn would be survival, he feels that he needs to constantly be "on" be aware of who and what is around him and notice all possible threats and active threats
Q:What do you see when you look at yourself?
A: I see a lot of fucked up shit. *immediate negative comment, ignores all the things that he has accomplished and overcome and focuses on the negative aspects of his life*
Q: Why do you only see yourself as fucked up?
A: I grew up to fast. I cant get a way from it. Everything fell apart around me and I have to find a way to survive. No one knows what I really do but me. so when people believe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself its because they only know so much. I hold a lot more and then they realize, the amount of secrets I have. Secrets aren't secrets if more than one person knows.
Q: Does it bother you that people only know so much about you
A: No. It proves that no one knows a lot about me because I wont let anyone near me. If I'm alone no one sees anything, its only necessary for me to know and no one else.
I can cope with that. I can live with that.
Its a good thing thing because then they will leave, but then its a bad thing because they don't know why I push them away.
*his answers here speak to his need for constant survival mode and not knowing how to not be alone, he cannot differentiate between not wanting to let someone in and just being a guarded person vs. not having someone care because for him someone who cares will try to know things about him and he cant have people knowing things about him because then he cant protect himself once they know his intimate details.*
Q: So what causes you to let someone in?
A: I don’t ever let anyone in, its as if you told your friend the back door is unlocked you can come in whenever you want and then one day they use it and you're like how the fuck did you get in here. Half the time I don't want them there, I believe I work best on my own. 9/10 its a woman I let in and i don't want her there and she will shatter my heart and the next time it will be that much harder to let someone in. I keep people out to protect myself. you cant take anything from someone you know nothing about. even when I tell people things I don't tell them the whole truth. Everything is based on survival for me.
*so he will let people in, but only to a certain point, there are levels in which you get to know glenn and how far you go depends on how you handle each checkpoint, its never the whole game with him*
Q: Whats worse than letting someone in?
A: Letting someone in and realizing they have no sympathy or they cant empathize with you. Most of the time its individuals who have stronger financial and family standings than me who tend to not be empathetic toward me. I never understood why at all. It’s as if I can just get out of my position just by saying okay I will now, i believe they view me as constantly making excuses so I speak even less. so when I do have to speak about myself it usually is me using humor to get through the situation.
Q: Why do you do that(use a sense of humor)?
A: I do that because they don't give a fuck and its obvious. its not because they don't care its because they don't understand . Everyone struggles in a different way, but to me, my struggle is related to the working class, maybe because of my dad I feel more at home with them, I feel more accepted. I feel like I am being watched when I am with someone who has it better than me, so how could they understand me. I’ll always respect the man or woman who works as a janitor more than anyone else. thats how I was raised. It isn't about being mean or anything it is just the fact I watched my father and mother struggle for so long, that they still had this strong sense of integrity and work ethic. They hated it, but did what they had to do everyday.
*humor is often used as a defense mechanism to give a person space from what they are saying creating an area where they can separate themselves from the darkness of the truth of what they are saying so that people don’t think they are actually bothered by the problem*
Q: Why do you respect the working class?
A: Just growing up, my father and mother would leave me in the west side of Chicago, all the individuals who looked like me lived there, those that didn't lived in the suburbs and I never understood why. there was something about a person living in a bad socioeconomic working to make ends meet that I related too. My father lost his house to the recession and my mother lost her job so things got bad when that happened I found myself being part of the working class overnight and I knew everything would be different from there. Paycheck to paycheck was/is how we lived.
Q: 9 years later do you still identified with the working class? you are now in college, a fraternity and are trying to start your own business.
A: I will always identify with the working class. when i go back to Chicago I live with my best friend/little brother’s family and its great but can be difficult. I always have to remember that my father lives in a studio apartment in the west side of Chicago and I sleep on a couch when I visit my parents. even though I have seen places that people in the working class may never see. WhenI come home my reality is a situation where I can only live half of my life, but I work extremely hard so I can live just one someday.
Q: Are you scared of ending up like your parents?
A: Everyday. my mother grew up with 12 brother and sisters had to do homework by candlelight my father had to literally fight his way home. I have passed their childhood and made it out but when it comes to their adult life I am scared to end up like them. my father not being able to give us chrisms gifts or cook food constantly rings in my head of what I could become. I watched my parents lose everything and to watch my kids have to do this would be the epitome of me failing them, because I should be able to prevent this since I went through it once myself.
-hates to be alone but will not let people get close
-loves being alone but doesn't want to be bored
-knows that he is good at being alone because that is all that he knows and he has learned how to adapt and be his own person
-being alone is like a safety net to him and when he no longer has that he has nothing to fall back on when things go wrong, for instance when he breaks it off with someone or pushes someone away he can shrug it off by saying its whatever I'm better on my own I'm good at being alone. The second he admits to not wanting to be alone or letting someone get past that wall that he has built he loses the ability to say oh I'm better at being alone and he is not ready to give that up.
-he feels threatened a lot; there are many different situations as to where he can feel threatened and him feeling threatened is what can lead to a lot of different situations for him (can cause him to be alone, inability to form a healthy relationships, confrontation)
-he feels threatened when people try to pry into his life and get to know him
-he feels threatened when people try to help him because they are challenging his ability to take care of himself
-he feels threatened when people assert themselves as “better than him”
-he feels threatened when people show on their socioeconomic status in a distasteful way
-he feels threatened when he perceives himself as weak in a situation
Feeling of needing to assert dominance
-in certain situations when he meets new people he will try to make it known that he views himself as important and talented that he has overcome struggles
-he does not want anyone to think they are better than him,
*Conclusions made outside of a controlled setting (i.e. venue, time constraint, previous knowledge, and by a clinical psychologist in training)*